Congratulations on your engagement! This is a really exciting time in your life. It’s also probably going to be a bit stressful.
During this next year, I want to walk through this process with you. I’ll give you a 12 Month Guide to planning your wedding and explain things along the way. You can start from the beginning here (click). Come back to this blog each week for the next installment.
Week Five – Guest List
Hope you had a good time with your friends and asking them to be part of your wedding party.
We’re now dealing with one of the scariest items – the guest list. Please don’t scream or cower … or delay. It can be handled in a relatively painless way.
The first thing a lot of people have trouble with is figuring out what to do with the list parent’s often supply (or even ones from the grandparents). The major rule of thumb to refer back to is that the people financing the wedding have a say in who gets to come and the portion of the wedding they are financing. The second thing people struggle with is how to limit the number of guests. Hopefully the following steps will help you as you navigate this tricky process.
1. Make a list of people you and your fiancé would like to invite.
2. Get a list from other people who have earned the benefit of contributing to the guest list.
3. Split the list up into three sections:
Must Invite – family, best friends, etc. (this will be a relatively small list)
Should Invite – these are friends, old family friends, etc.
Could Invite – these are people you would like to invite but are not musts.
4. Look at the numbers and compare it with your budget. If you’ve already selected your venue, look at the space available.
5. If you need to cut from the list, the “Could Invites” is the first place to start.
[Tweet “You don’t have to invite everyone you know, only those who have supported you and your fiancé.”]
This will make it relatively easy to sort through names of people to invite. Remember, you don’t have to invite everyone you know, only those who have supported you and your fiancé. It is possible to invite a lot of people with a lower-than-average-budget (I had 150 people and spent under $10,000). These weddings can be really pretty and special, but they won’t be over-the-top or extravagant. You may have to decide whether to have a larger guest list or a more elaborate wedding.
[Tweet “You may have to decide whether to have a larger guest list or a more elaborate wedding.”]
Now that you have a list of names, make a spreadsheet or enter them into an online spreadsheet (click here for The Knot’s version). There should be headings like: Name, Other Family Names (for children), Address, Phone, Invitation Sent, RSVP, Gift, Thank You Sent. Place the list of names in the first column (It really helps to alphabetize them by last name). As you receive the rest of the information, fill in each section. To get addresses, try contacting people by phone, email, Facebook, mutual family/friends, etc. This is a long process so start early.
As people ask if they can come to the wedding (and there are often people who will), don’t say yes or know. Tell them you’re still working on the guest list. This is a non-committal answer that points out the need to figure out the details … it’s also a gracious way to skirt around a rude question. Many people who are married will understand that budget and space dictate many things about the wedding.
Any thoughts, questions or tips about guest lists?
Next week we’ll address selecting your officiant, pre-marital counseling and other required documents.
Katelyn is a certified wedding planner. She is available for consultations.
She will even meet with you on Skype to help you work through part of your wedding planning.
Click here for more information.