Have you found any other helpful books to help prepare for marriage?Congratulations on your engagement! This is a really exciting time in your life. It’s also probably going to be a bit stressful.
During this next year, I want to walk through this process with you. I’ll give you a 12 Month Guide to planning your wedding and explain things along the way. You can start from the beginning here (click). Come back to this blog each week for the next installment.
Week Six – Officiant and Required Documents
Hope your guest list is off to a good start. This week we’ll look at selecting an officiant, pre-marital counseling and other required documents. It’s not exactly going to be fun, but it’s necessary stuff to deal with.
Officiant
If you belong to a church or synagogue then it can be easy to select the person to marry you. However, you may have trouble if you don’t belong to a congregation. There are options available. You can ask a judge, get married on a cruise by a captain or ask a special friend to go through the process to marry you and your fiance. Now is the time to ask the person you want to be your officiant. There are many variables involved (counseling, licensing, schedules, etc.) so ask early.
Think through this step. It may not seem like a big deal, but this person may walk you through pre-marital counseling, what to expect during the ceremony and will be in a lot of the wedding photos. Some officiants won’t be with you much, but others are very involved. Choose somebody who will help make this a wonderful and memorable time.
License
Everyone has to buy a marriage license. You’ll need to talk to your county office to see what the requirements are. In my area, couples have between three and thirty days to get married after purchasing a license. You and your fiance will need to take your ID and a form of payment. Most states require people to be at least 18 years old, though some allow people to marry as young as 16 years old with parental permission. After the wedding the license will need to be signed by you, your spouse and your officiant. It should then be filed at the county office.
The cost of licenses varies. Locally, people pay about $70. However, they can pay less if they get certain forms of premarital counseling. Call the county clerk to see whether this is applicable in your area. If it is, get a list of the places that offer the pre-marital counseling. They usually cost some money as well, but the experience is so worth the money. You’e basically getting more for the money spent.
Doctor Visits
Most states don’t require people to go through physical exams or blood tests, but you’ll want to double check when you call about the marriage license. These tests are used to check for various diseases lick rubella, tuberculosis, sickle-cell anemia and venereal diseases.
While we’re on this topic, I would like to suggest that you make an appointment to have a standard female exam. Depending on the doctor, these can take a while to arrange so look into it now while you have enough time. Talk with your fiance about the options of birth control so you are on the same page. That way you’ll be prepared to discuss things with the doctor. If you do decide to start birth control, know that it’ll take a while for your body to adjust and that you’ll need to schedule it around your wedding.
Educational Material
In case you decide not to do pre-marital counseling but want to go through some books on your own, here are some of my favorite suggestions:
For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright
I know this wasn’t a super fun topic. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
Have you found any other helpful books to help prepare for marriage?
Next week we’re going to handle something super fun…something you’ve been waiting for…wedding dresses!
Katelyn is a certified wedding planner. She is available for consultations.
She will even meet with you on Skype to help you work through part of your wedding planning.
Click here for more information.