Congratulations on your engagement!
This is a really exciting time in your life. It’s also probably going to be a bit stressful. But there are ways to eliminate some of the stress. Focus on the marriage more than the wedding. That’s the important part. After that, just try to keeping a positive attitude.
Another really great way to relieve stress is to follow a guideline. During this next year, I want to walk through this process with you. Not only will I be giving you a 12 Month Guide to planning your wedding, I’ll be explaining things along the way. There are a ton of timelines out there, but most are only a compilation of check-lists. Those are great (I live from one check-list to another), but when you’re stressing through the details it’s helpful to have some explanations. Come back to this blog each week for the next installment.
Week One – First Decisions
Just a warning, you’re going to quickly get tired of two questions:
“Can I see the ring?”
“Have you set a date?”
The first one isn’t bad, but hearing it 100 times can wear on you (even if you’re like me and stare at the shiny object on your finger 100 times a day). The second question can stress you out right from the beginning. I remember just wanting to soak it all in and enjoy being engaged. However, the reminder can be useful and is actually one of the first things we’ll address.
After getting engaged, there are two things you want to do right away.
1. Decide on a date.
2. Figure out the budget.
DATE – The reason I recommend deciding on the date at the beginning is so that you have an idea of how much time there is to plan the wedding (and you’ll have an answer to everyone who asks). I also recommend having two back-up dates available. This will come in handy when you look at venues (week three). You don’t want to get your heart set on a place and find out it isn’t available on the only date you have planned. Talk with your fiance and immediate family members to find a few days that are good for everyone.
When selecting a date, There are a few things to keep in mind. You want to have enough time to plan.
1. Give yourself at least a few months to plan things out. I did it in five months and it was tight, especially in addition to work and school. Next week we’ll go into more detail about how to plan.
2. It’ll be easier for most people to attend a weekend wedding. For most venues weekdays are less expensive than weekends; although, Sundays can be less expensive than Saturdays.
3. Another factor is the time of year. The months of June-October are very popular for weddings, and some venues charge more during that time of year because of the high demand. Choosing to get married during the “off season”, especially the colder months of January-March, can help with the budget.
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BUDGET – The budget is going to be the backbone for the rest of the wedding planning. Whenever you have a question, it will often lead back to the budget. The sad part is that setting a budget can be tricky, disappointing and discouraging. Chin up. Get it over with and then have fun with the rest. You need to know who is paying for the wedding. Are you and your fiance going to take care of all of it, contribute part of the bill or is it gifted to you? Do you have parents who have offered to pay for part or the whole of the wedding? You need to know this and also how much each person can contribute. This will give you a total budget for the wedding.
Once I set a budget, it was really helpful to put it in a spread sheet and decide on approximate amounts to spend on each category. I used The Knot and adapted it to my needs, but you can use whatever you like. This will help you, and it’ll impress those who help contribute. Here are some sample categories: Attire, Ceremony, Reception, Flowers/Decor, Photography/Videography, Music, etc.
Pick your top three “must haves” for the wedding. Do you love flowers and notice them at every wedding you attend? Perhaps you’re into music or photography. Or maybe your fiance was really hungry at the wedding of his third-cousin-once-removed because there were only small appetizers served, and he doesn’t want to repeat the event. Discuss the top three items that are important to you and your fiance for your wedding. Your time and budget should reflect that these are important. The rest will come together, and some things may prove to not be very important in the end.
It’s important to discuss budgets, boundaries and priorities at the beginning of the engagement period (especially if it’s a short engagement). Whoever is involved in helping to pay for the wedding will have some semblance of say in budget and decisions made. This is tricky because weddings have a way of bringing out the crazy in people. That’s why it’s also important to set kind, but firm, boundaries on all parties involved in decision planning (self included).
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That should be enough to keep you busy this week. I hope it goes well and that you’ll come back for more next week!
Click here to go to Week Two: How to Plan.
By the way, we love a romantic story, so feel free to tell us how you got engaged!
Katelyn is a certified wedding planner. She is available for consultations.
She will even meet with you on Skype to help you work through part of your wedding planning.
Click here for more information.